I recently was given two new hospice patients… Ah what a blessing it is to work with human beings who are, and know they are, about to die.  They are different than normal humans who believe death is far off in their future, these people know what is upon them, they have nothing left to prove, or do except accept death (I believe as a joyous event…).  I kind of enjoy going to nursing homes to visit them and I’ve been trying to put my finger on why – it has something to do with the pace of the life in there, so slow, relaxed, uncomplicated… There is nothing to do, be, or have any more… the human beings are finally just that… being.  Presence is palpable there…

Anyways one of the short narratives on the Plan of Care paperwork that was sent to me has got me ALLLLllllllll rilled up!!!

“patient had two suicide attempts, one in December and one in January – both by overdose.  Patient currently saying she won’t attempt again – she does not want to hurt those around her.”

What?! WHAT?! WHHHAAAAAAAAAT? (haha)  This is the email I almost sent back to my Volunteer Coordinator:

This narrative has got me all stirred up inside… two attempts to leave the body and having to feel “guilt/shame” to not want to hurt anyone around her…??!  The people around her should see there is NO-THING to cling to here, let her got back home, let her be free, let her experience All That Is and the FULLNESS of who she really is again.  The people around her should feel guilty for wanting to cling to her ‘physical body’ even though once she is non-physical again they will be able to call upon her in just ONE thought, and experience the glory and brilliance of her love that way.

ahh humanity, come on. let’s shift, let’s upgrade, let’s SEE the deeper realities, the deeper truths.  Death is a doorway.  How could anything that was once alive die and not be reborn? 

This is why I sometimes feel like the angel of death.  I understand.  I allow that transition in to non-physical to be full of peace, acceptance, allowing and even excitement.  I have felt what it is like to shed the body consciousness for a few moments… I have felt it and nothing in physicalness has even been able to compare to that bliss and expansion.

Welcome death.  Nurture your definitions and explanations of death until it becomes your friend, your lover, your welcome-home party after a couple years in the muck, the gloriously fun muck, but muck none-the-less…

Alex Grey, ‘Dying’